I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten the old “you’re too picky” when it comes to dating. I’ll tell you what, if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that in my life, well…I certainly wouldn’t have to work for a few years.
However, every time this comment is made to me or this topic comes up in conversation, I have a good “heart-to-heart” with myself and evaluate if I really am too picky. I’ve come to this conclusion. I am only picky in the one thing that matters.
There are many things that you can compromise on in a relationship. I think the older you get the more things you find that you actually can compromise on and still be happy. For example, when I was a young teenager, I used to say I would only marry a return missionary. Enter a few return missionaries in my life who were less than ideal, and suddenly marrying a return missionary isn’t all that important to me.
However, there is one area where I refuse to compromise and that is with temple marriage. If you are worthy to hold a temple recommend, you have all of the qualifications I need. In my mind, marriage just isn’t worth it if it’s not forever. I don’t really want to invest in a relationship that’s going to end as soon as we are just dust in the earth. I mean, if I know that families can be together forever (and I do know that) then why would I not want my own eternal family?
I want the reassurance that the relationships I’ve built on earth can continue into eternity. I want to know that all of the unfairness in life will be righted one day. I want to know that I have a companion by my side who has the same values as me. Temple marriage is what will bring this assurance into my life.
Besides, if the temple is important to me (and it is) then I wouldn’t be happy with someone who doesn’t give the temple the same importance that I do.
I know that a temple marriage isn’t the end all. You have to continue to be worthy of the privilege of the temple and you have to continue to work on the relationship. But if you don’t start the marriage out in the right place, then you’ve got a rocky foundation to begin with.
So go ahead, tell me I’m too picky, but when it comes to a temple marriage, there is no compromise. It’s all or nothing for me.
2 comments:
Amen, Missy!!!! Yep I have been told I am too picky too. Love that! Not. Or my fave- "so, do you just not want to get married?"
i'm with ya! when I was younger there were things that I thought I'd NEVER compromise on (like the whole RM thing) but now that I've lived and dated a whole lot more I realize that there are somethings that really ARE important (like temple marriage!) and some things that aren't.
I don't think you're too picky at all. Just very, very smart.
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